Finding Sanity
by Black Wish
Summary: Hiei, Faramir, Kurama, Aragorn, Edward Elric, Merry, Pippin, Harry Potter, and Gandalf have all gone insane while stuck in the magic white room. (padded walls too!)


**Disclaimer:** I DON'T own any of the characters and Wolf is made up!(she's just my personal character that I use)**

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**Finding Sanity**

Everyhting is white, for it is the magic white room, suddenly... aperson with a wolf face walks up and gives a fanged grin, "'ello loves! Avast, ye scurvy dog! So you've read me summary and call me Wolf, uh, hold on, me maties, _AHEM_. There, that's better now. Pirate speech is not for a wolf," She pauses and waves her hand, "Trust me. Now for the disclaimer…Hiei, would you do the honors?

Hiei looks at her curiously, "Nani?"

Wolf places her hands on her hips, "MUST HE speak in Japanese at a time like this? Now, Hiei read this piece of paper."

Hiei shakes his head, "Nein."

Wolf gal glares at Hiei and says, "Now German! WOULD YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND! Just read this aloud, AND then you can create as much _havoc_ as you wish."

Hiei jumps up and yells, "I GET TO DOMINATE THE WORLD! Wait…What about Koenma?"

Wolf smirks, "No one fools with the likes of me."

Hiei claps in amazement. He takes the piece of paper and reads "Ahem, Wolf doesn't own her guests, she just owns the magic white room," Hiei pauses, "That's a little...freaky...I mean-"

Wolf takes the paper out of Hiei's hand, "Thank you Hiei. Here's your sword."

She hands Hiei a sword inside a sheath. Hiei unsheathes a rubber sword and runs away yelling battle cries. Wolf looks around, "Now where are my guests?"

She snaps fingers and magical door appears. Faramir walks through.

_**WHACK!**_

Wolf rubs her chin, "So that's where he ran off too…"

Faramir looks up from floor to see Hiei hovering over him, "Who're you?"

Hiei makes a sinister voice with crazed eyes, "I am the tiny little voice inside your head that speaks to you at night.

Faramir runs and hides behind Wolf, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! How'd you know about that?"

"Because I'm the tiny little voice?"

"Oh…yeah…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Faramir screams then runs in circles continuing to scream like a girl.

Wolf sighs, "That's going to get annoying."

She snaps fingers and duke tap appears over Faramir's mouth, "Now for our other guests."

Kurama walks through door.

_**WHACK!**_

Kurama falls over.

Hiei hovers over Kurama.

_**POKE**_

**N**

**E**

**R**

**V**

**O**

**U**

**S**

**A**

**N**

**T**

**I**

**C**

**I**

**P**

**A**

**T**

**I**

**O**

**N**

_**POKE**_

…

_**POKE, POKE**_

…

_**POKE, POKE, POKE**_

_**POKE, POKE, PO-**_

Kurama garbs Hiei's neck and shakes without mercy, "NOBODY LOVES ME ANYMORE!"

Wolf screams, "KURAMA!"

Kurama looks up at Wolf, "What?"

"That's…HOW ABSURD! OH MY, come here, my darling…You must feel terrible…Oh my poor baby…"

"I'M LOVED!" Kurama dances around with joy and heads in the direction of Wolf to hug her. He drops Hiei. Hiei falls to ground with loud _thunk_.

Wolf glares at Kurama, "NOT YOU!"

Kurama picks Hiei back up by the neck and asks, "Why do you get all the girls?

Hiei says hoarsely, "Ca…n't…brea…th…" and is trying to get Kurama's grip off of his neck.

_(AN: Hiei did get the most popular votes. I read that in a Shonen Jump Magazine)_

_**POUNCE!**_

Wolf looks on the new scene glumly, "And here comes our fourth guest…"

Aragorn pounces around, "COFFEE! COFFEE! I SMELL COFFEE! Where is it? Huh? Huh? COFFEE!"

"Oh great…"

"COFFEE! COFFEE! I SMELL COFFEE! Where is it? Huh? Huh? COFFEE!"

Faramir looks on with wide eye. "…" (Tape still covers his mouth)

Kurama and Hiei look up from the strangle holds they have on each other, "What the?"

Wolf sweatdrops.

"COFFEE!"

What does Hiei do?

_**WHACK!**_

…

…

_**WHACK!**_

_**WHACK!**_

_**WHACK!**_

Aragorn, Kurama, and Faramir all lay sprawled on the ground. Hiei stagers. Wolf looks from her hiding spot, "Idiot. He hit himself in the head."

Aragorn, Kurama, Faramir, and Hiei: swirly eyes.

Wolf shakes her head,"Maybe our next guest will come in without getting hurt…"

Edward Elric walks in.

_**WHACK!**_

"I spoke too soon…"

Ed looks around dumbly, "Who am I?"

Hiei jumps in front of him, "The tiny…No I already used that. "

"What am I?"

Hiei smiles, "AH-HAH!"

"I'm an _AH-HAH!_?"

"Yes! Dance dresses sing you pretty polka pink so in I'm in…"

"I what?"

Hiei shakes his head, "No, no, no, no…you dance in polka dresses and sing "I'm so pretty in pink"."

Wolf is off to the side crying, "I thought these people were sane…"

"Yes, now you turn in circles like this, Hiei turns in circles, "And you do these motions."

He starts doing mocorina.

Wolf is still crying, "Hopefully someone SANE will walk through that door…"

Merry and Pippin walk through bickering like newlyweds.

_**POUNCE!**_

"COFFEE! COFFEE! I SMELL COFFEE! Where is it? Huh? Huh? COFFEE!"

Merry looks at Aragorn, "Down boy. Now Pippin, yellow would look so much better."

"COFFEE!"

Pippin hands him a can marked coffee, "Here's some coffee beans boy. Now go ask nice miss lady Wolf if she'd like some. No, Merry. Mauve is the color."

"CCCOOOFFFFFFEEEEEE!"

Wolf cringes in a corner, "Lord, kill me now…"

Aragorn strolls up to Wolf, "Coffee?"

Wolf climbs up a pole that magically appeared, "No. Go away."

She starts shivering as Aragorn prances about enjoying his coffee beans.

Merry shakes a finger at Pippin, "I think yellow's better"

"Mauve!"

"Yellow!"

"Mauve!"

"Yellow!"

"Mauve!"

"Yellow!"

"Mauve!"

"Yellow!"

"Mauve!"

"Yellow!"

"Yellow!"

"Mauve!"

Wolf buts in, "Wouldn't purple be better, or maybe brown?" (A little logical comment might get some sanity back at the very least...)

They both yell, "NO!"

"You said mauve!"

"And you said yellow!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"What were we talking about?

"COFFEE!"

"Oh yes, coffee. Isn't it nice?"

Wolf sits on top of the pole and is crying, "Lord, help us all!"

She turns to survey Hiei, Kurama, and Ed dressed in Indian skins as well as covered in red, white, and blue paint and dancing around a bonfire where Faramir is being held, "Kill me know…"

Hiei pokes Faramir.

Kurama smiles and starts chanting, "HE'S DEAD! HE'S DEAD! HE'S DEAD! HE'S DEAD!"

Faramir yells, "I'M NOT DEAD YET! (And why does everyone want to burn me to death?)"

Ed whispers, "He's a witch!"

"No! I'm a man!"

Hiei gasps, "He's a WIZARD!"

Kurama starts chanting "KILL THE WIZARDS! KILL THE WIZARDS! KILL THE WIZARDS!"

_(AN: This seems oddly familiar…)_

Ed starts pulling Harry Potter and Gandalf toward the bonfire.

Harry sighs, "Oh great…"

Gandalf pounds his staff on the ground, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

Hiei looks at Gandalf dumbly, "Pass what?"

Gandalf looks back down at the fire demon, "I dunno…"

Wolf sits up straighter, "How'd they get in here?"

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How was Zat? Review please! Oh and I have uno question-mo! Does Hiei like ice cream a lot or is that just something that people just happen to put in fanfiction a lot?

Black Wish


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